Welcome to my Series "Gracefully Broken". In this Series I will be telling My Story. You are on Part two, "All to Jesus...". Please enjoy and open your ears and hearts to what God is telling you through this! Enjoy!
Because my parents were so concerned with the fact I had two wrecks in such a short amount of time, my mom, without me knowing, started researching some things. My parents and I were very concerned. I am a responsible person and not a bad driver, how could two time distractions cancel out both those traits I posses. One night my dad handed me an article to read that my mom had found, and said to just and see what I thought about the article no pressure and no preconceived ideas. I read it alone and my eyes opened wide. The article was about ADD/ADHD late diagnosis in teen girls.
The link to this article is :
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-in-girls-women/ .
When I read this, I saw...me. I saw the me that forever thought I was just lazy, the forgetful me, the distracted me and even the me with anxiety and a little depression.
The article told that some girls go without being diagnosed till late High School or College because of coping strategies. These girls can cope because unlike most boys, diagnosed as children, they are not "hyperactive". This means teachers do not see them causing trouble in class or having trouble sitting still, all the teachers see is a girl who has to work hard to do what she does, but she achieves her goals. This all changes when the girl goes to High School or College and her coping skills start failing do to more stress and pressure in school, etc.... Some signs of ADD/ADHD in girls are trouble focusing on reading, taking notes and not knowing how to study or understand them when looking back at them later, multiple car wrecks, Anxiety and Depression from social differences, and so much more!
The thing that got my parents hooked was obviously the car wrecks thing. I am a responsible girl and a good driver, but somehow distractions came into play a lot. For me, almost all things in the article hooked me because they all were characteristics of myself, that I had seen throughout my whole life, and/or especially my Sophomore year.
Sophomore year was HARD. I felt like such a failure all year and by the end of the year had totally given up hope and effort. I was depressed, lazy, angry, and irresponsible because ALL of my self confidence and hope was gone. Now looking back I contribute all those issues almost entirely to this diagnosable problem. The last year my classes consisted of a lot of note taking, reading of books, and tough concentration. I thought I was struggling with all of these things because I was lazy or irresponsible.
On top of all that the summer before Sophomore year I was diagnosed with Anxiety and started on medicine which I then had to increase by the end of my Sophomore year. From the article I learned anxiety occurs in ADD/ADHD people very often, and that is due to social problems that occur because of the attention issue, for example being random around peers, bouncing off the walls, and/or struggling in school. After reading this eye-opening study, I became convinced that this was the real me.
At this point in my life, discovering crazy things like this seemed normal and usually excited me. Discovering I may actually have a diagnosable problem and was not just "sucking at life" relieved me! I immediately got a recommendation and saw a counselor who further described ADD/ADHD and explained the commonness of later diagnosis in girls. This convinced me even more. The counselor proceeded to have me fill out forms and questions and my parents separately did the same, These forms and questions were made to assess if I had ADD, ADHD, or neither, and also pinpoint specific problem areas within my own brain and disorder. All that was left was to await the results.
I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). After hearing stories of others diagnosed and prescribed medicine to assist them, I was so ready to unlock my brain! All my life I have not had the full capability of my brain. There has been a lost connection in my brain preventing me from being the person I was intended to be! I am so relieved to know I was not just lazy or irresponsible. I have now been on medication since August 5th. This may not be the perfect medication or right dosage yet, but I can 100% tell I am a new person. I am so much more positive and driven. I feel confident to do anything, I can read and comprehend, and I take notes and study like a champion. My Junior year, so far, so far has been the exact opposite of my Sophomore year, because I now have access to my brain, and essentially myself!
As completely TERRIBLE as those wrecks were, and as awful as my Sophomore year was, God used those events to help me find myself. I am not ashamed of my past, my present, or who I am. I am Gracefully Broken and I surrender ALL to Jesus! I am going to use my story to help others!
To Be Continued in Part Three "All Apart of My Story"!
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